Blogs and Comments and Anonymous Obligations

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I have recently come across a very interesting blog.  It was focused on exposing the secrets and drama of a particular wealthy community.  The comments of those who viewed the blog were hilarious.  They were almost all anonymous and half of the comments were speculation about who the author of the blog actually was.

Several comments were from anonymous people chastising the blogs author for also being anonymous.  So what is the moral obligation of a blogger to post their identity?  What is the benefit to society of bloggers that remain anonymous in order to raise issues that they would not otherwise be able to expose/discuss/uncover?

I published an underground newsletter in college.  It was quite inflammatory (and funny) and garnered a significant amount of attention.  One of my professors actually lectured one day about how the author of this newsletter should be expelled.  And then in the next breath she challenged the author to step up and admit they were the author.

Look at Julian Assange.  He doesn't run a blog per se but he is the epitome of using the web to expose people's secrets and there is no denying the amount of energy put into trying to take him out of the picture.  Why should a blogger/writer expose themselves to this type of harassment?

I am nobody and my opinions are worthless.  

I am also anonymous.

If i say something that offends or is disagreeable, isn't it easier to ignore me than to create a campaign to suppress my speech?

Reconsidering Marriage

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I don't like marriage.  Its not marriage per se, but all the expectations and social meaning attached to it. The traditional roles and responsibilities. Women want to be respected as modern and equal partners in the marriage relationship but still insist on ceremonies that are weighted with old values and meaning.

People talk about divorce rates near 50% in America as a bad thing, symbolizing the decline of family values. No one talks about the fact that for generations it was illegal to divorce so women were often trapped in mentally and physically abusive relationships. Divorce allows women a way out. It brings a small degree of parity, a check
and balance structure. Divorce rates might be more indicative of gains in women's rights than a decline in family values. After all, if we truly valued our mothers, sisters, daughters, wouldn't we want them to divorce a man who thought it his right to beat her?

And wouldn't we also want our sons and brothers to be healthy and happy and fully actualized people. So we would encourage them to leave unhealthy relationships as well.

If we valued children and their safety, would not we encourage responsible parents to leave a spouse that was a threat to the safety, well being, and happiness of the children?

Do we really value the institution over the individual lives that comprise it?

And why such debates about gay marriage? They validate the legal structure of marriage as it is. And family law in America is archaic.

For example, I married while living in Cali, the  moved to Georgia then separated and i moved back to cali.  My wife stayed in Georgia where she soon got pregnant by a new man, before we were legally divorced.  Did you know that Georgia law does not allow a woman to put any mans name on the birth certificate of her child other than her husbands if she is married? Even if paternity is not in dispute and all parties acknowledge a different man is the biological father. Furthermore, courts in Georgia also hold the husband fiscally responsible.

It was not an issue for me, but the fact that it was something I had to even consider shows our energies are in the wrong place.

Why does Young Jeezy have to pay 30k a month in child support? What child needs that? There should be ceilings on child support so that it cant be abused. People unfortunately do use children for economic reasons which is never healthy for children.

But why does society automatically give more rights to an absentee parent than a person who raises a child if that person is an aunt or cousin or grandparent? The laws don't reflect the reality of society.  We need to reconsider family law, and the institution of marriage itself, to reflect the modern complexities and advancements in though of our contemporary world.

I do NOT want children

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I do not want children.  It seems to amaze most people when I say it, but its hardly something I even give a second thought.  Its like if I asked you if you wanted a tattoo.  For most people, either you do or you don't.  But most people who do not want to mark themselves forever do not spend great amounts of time agonizing over why they do not want to spend hours on a table enduring a painful process only to be permanently branded with a scar that will eventually fade, loose its novelty and allure, and possible become an act you regret but cannot undue.

But if I had to give it a single reason, more specific than the obvious selflessness of it all, i would say it is because i have not found or met anyone i would feel comfortable with as the mother of my children.  Lets ignore the fact that only a selfish bastard would bring an innocent child into this world.  Let us also ignore the fact that there are more than enough parentless children in need of safe, stable, secure, nurturing homes that are as readily available as duffel bags of corn chips at Costco.  

I am a particular and peculiar man.  I know this about myself.  I have some unique and sometimes complicated views of life, and people.  And by extension, I have some very specific notions of child rearing.  And i am not willing to compromise on those.  Nor am i willing to spend the rest of my life in constant battle with the mother of my child...or her mother. So rather than argue with a woman about why she must breast feed, and breast feed only, any child of mine until he or she is at least 6 months old, i just avoid the situation.  Because at five months and 3 weeks when she decides its ok to let the baby taste his or her first juice or piece of fruit or mushy rice i will be forced to make that most difficult of choices... stay and fight and possibly hurt my child's mother, or walk away.  From my child.  Forever.

I do not want children.